Monday, July 26, 2010
Fuck you, Newport News
Unless you want to read about how pissed off I am right now, skip this post. I have a hell of a hard time finding bikinis that will look good on me, since I've been gaining weight but still have tiny boobs. Everything makes me look the great combination of fat + flat. I was really excited to browse through my mom's Newport News catalog and see a bikini with a padded bra-style top, because I've been looking for one everywhere. They had a bunch of mix n match bottoms too, and each piece is only $15, so I got really excited and ordered a size 2 and 4, because I didn't know which would fit me. And $30 is such a good price! When I got them, they fit me like I was shoving myself into doll clothes. For the record, I wear a jr's size M, a small or medium at Hollister / A&F, XS at Old Navy and Charlotte Russe. I should be able to fit comfortably into a size 4. But no. So, I ordered the same things in a size 6 and 8. They got here today. Here's the website links if you're curious: top bottom 1 bottom 2 Shock of the century, they still didn't fit in those sizes. They weren't too small, but the tops are cut so insanely low that my risk of pulling a celeb-style nip slip is about a 99% if I tried to wear them out. I even tried pulling the padding out and adjusting the straps, but still to no avail. Both types of bottoms were low in the front and very high in the back, so they looked awful on me. It made me wonder what kind of women they expect to be able to wear these. This crap isn't even what makes me the angriest. I noticed a really strong smell on one of the bikini tops. It smelled like straight up chlorine. I thought maybe that was just the factory smell or something, so I smelled the other pieces. They smelled like plastic. THEN I noticed the smelly top had no tag. Every other piece had a tag saying you can return swimwear, but ONLY if the tag is still on. They sent me a USED bikini top. Didn't anyone bother to check to see that there was no tag? And that it smelled like a swimming pool? Each piece comes in its own little sealed bag, so SOMEONE had to reseal it in a new bag, ignoring the fact that it had obviously been used. I am so angry right now. Not only do I still have no swimsuit at almost the end of July, when it's been around/over 100 degrees every day for the last week but I got sent something that someone else had been using, which is so disgusting and unsanitary. I buy used clothes all the time, but I'm not comfortable buying a used swimsuit. And the fact that it SHOULD be new, yet they sent me someone's old bikini top, infuriates me. My advice after this incident is to stay away from Newport News at all costs. I know it is pretty much targeted towards middle aged ladies, but they have some really cute shit in there sometimes, so I always flip through it. Now I know never to order from them again.